Curio by Evangeline Denmark, 2016

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Grey Haward has always detested the Chemists, the magicians-come-scientists who rule her small western town. But she has always followed the rules, taking the potion the Chemists ration out that helps the town’s people survive. A potion that Grey suspects she—like her grandfather and father—may not actually need.
By working at her grandfather’s repair shop, sorting the small gears and dusting the curio cabinet inside, Grey has tried to stay unnoticed—or as unnoticed as a tall, strong girl can in a town of diminutive, underdeveloped citizens. Then her best friend, Whit, is caught by the Chemists’ enforcers after trying to protect Grey one night, and after seeing the extent of his punishment, suddenly taking risks seems the only decision she can make.
But with the risk comes the reality that the Chemists know her family’s secret, and the Chemists soon decide to use her for their own purposes. Panicked, Grey retreats to the only safe place she knows—her grandfather’s shop. There, however, a larger secret confronts her when her touch unlocks the old curio cabinet in the corner and reveals a world where porcelain and clockwork people are real. There, she could find the key that may save Whit’s life and also end the Chemists’ dark rule forever.

(432 pages)

I'm a long-time fan of the author Donita K. Paul. Her DragonKeeper Chronicles are amazing - literally the best Christian fantasy I have ever read - and I've gobbled up tons of her books over the years. When I got a newsletter telling me that her daughter Evangeline had a book coming out, and that it was steampunk dystopian, I was excited. Then I saw the gorgeous cover and I was completely hooked.

It was available on BookLook Bloggers, a review program I'm a part of, but the copies were snapped up so fast that when I went to request it the day it became available, they were already out of hard copies. I hate reading ebooks unless I absolutely have to, so I sent a semi-begging email to Blink. I got a lovely email back letting me know that I would be getting a copy in the mail, asking whether I would like to interview the author, and just all-around being so nice and welcoming to me that it made me feel even more warm and fuzzy about the book than I already did. That was literally the most pleasant interaction I've ever had with a publishing company! Plus, they sent me a gorgeous hard-back copy instead of an ARC or even just a regular paperback. When I pulled that beauty out of the package my heart just about stopped.

The trouble started once I actually cracked open the cover. And I'm absolutely heartbroken to say it, but . . . Curio was really bad. And the terrible thing is that I actually really love the premise - even now, having read the book and kind of hated it, I'm still excited about the premise because I feel like Denmark really had some really awesome material to go on. She came up with a fascinating scenario, with the tocks and the porcies and the entire world full of fully-animated, living dolls. The entire dystopian backstory to everything sounded really cool too, and the writing was quite good - though I kind of lost track of all the myriad side-characters running around - and, with a few rounds of judicious edits, the book could have come out really well.

I'm not talking about editing for grammar or anything like that - Denmark is a competent writer, there's really nothing lacking there, though I wouldn't have minded a few more paragraphs explaining the dystopian setting before diving into the story. But no, what I would really focus on removing are all the lust scenes. Like, seriously. In Grey's community there's some rule (that really doesn't make any sense, to be perfectly honest) that forbids males and females from standing within a few feet of each other. Literally from the first chapter - when a childhood friend picks her up to protect her from a pack of wolves - every single time she touches a man Grey starts obsessing about it. Every. Single. Time. Her heart starts racing, she starts focusing on the touch of his skin, she forgets whatever super-important thing she's in the middle of and just starts thinking about that person's eyes. And I'll be straight with you: it's not just Grey who gets carried away with her lustful instincts. Whit does too, and so does a character who comes into the story later (whom I don't want to name for fear of spoilers). People who barely know each other randomly start passionately kissing, but it's supposed to be okay because we know that the kissing obviously means that they are meant to be a good match for each other - they're soul mates or something, never mind the fact that they have no idea whether they even have anything in common other than some hormonal urges.

But honestly. I don't really like reading a book where I get the feeling that if you left the two main characters alone together in a room for more than ten minutes you'd come back to find them, ahem, getting it on. I legitimately think that the self-control in all of these characters is so low that they could not deny the urge to take it all the way and sleep together if other pressing matters didn't keep them preoccupied most of the time. And that is really not a pleasant impression to have of the protagonists of a story.

Plus, I'll just add, there's some really creepy goings-on amongst the porcies, including a lord who we're told cycles through mistresses and who actually tries to rape Grey at one point. I wasn't such a huge fan of that, either, for obvious reasons.

Basically, if all those pages of racing heartbeats and trembling kisses and creepy hands-on-skirts had been deleted from the book, it would have been a very entertaining read; as it is, though, I struggled to get past all of the troubling parts and through to the meat of the story. I almost DNF'd about halfway through, actually, but I decided I was still interested enough in the core story to see it through to the end. I can't say I'd highly recommend this book to anyone, but I am interested to see what Denmark comes out with in the future; she's definitely inherited that knack for creating fascinating worlds from her mother, and if she would just stop giving her characters so many hormones she could easily write some quality fiction.

Disclaimer: I received a complimentary copy of this novel from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

The Looney Experiment by Luke Reynolds, 2015

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Atticus Hobart couldn't feel lower. He s in love with a girl who doesn't know he exists, he is the class bully's personal punching bag, and to top it all off, his dad has just left the family. Into this drama steps Mr. Looney, a 77-year-old substitute English teacher with uncanny insight and a most unconventional approach to teaching. But Atticus soon discovers there's more to Mr. Looney's methods than he'd first thought. And as Atticus begins to unlock the truths within his own name, he finds that his hyper-imagination can help him forge his own voice, and maybe just maybe discover that the power to face his problems was inside him all along.

(208 pages)

Hmm. This one looked a lot better in the description.

I mean, it looks good, doesn't it? The synopsis makes it look like a sort of mix between Dork Diaries (or whatever it's called - Diary of a Teenaged something, maybe? I don't read them, in case you couldn't tell) and the Terupt books (which I have read - and loved!). I always like a good coming-of-age story, and books about kids with crazy-but-super-effective teachers are kind of my secret addiction. So I snapped The Looney Experiment up when I saw it available for review - and now I'm wishing I hadn't.

Because for one thing, they swear too much. And fart too much. I get that Atticus and his classmates aren't little kids, but it's still a little excessive that they have to be using the A word all the time. And I can forgive some of the farting because Atticus' little brother is pretty young, but I still don't really enjoy reading about it. There's only so much family bonding over flatulence that I can stomach, okay?

And in a way The Looney Experiment is meaningful - after all, Atticus learns some very valuable lessons from Mr. Looney! - but it also felt pretty fake. I mean, we're basically told (and not shown) that Mr. Looney is this awesome teacher, but all he really does is really nutty antics that shock his students into thinking he could be someone cool. To be perfectly honest, I would probably have behaved more like Danny than like Atticus when they all made a conga line and danced around the classroom.

As for the girl - yikes! I feel bad, because I know that kitschy middle-school romances are part and parcel with reading MG these days, but I just couldn't really handle it. They're, like, twelve. I don't care if she's nice, she's still six years from reaching majority! When I was that age, I wasn't even thinking about romance, let alone crushing on guys or wanting to go out with them. Reading about Atticus' clumsy attachment to Audrey is cute in a way, but the whole thing just isn't handled well enough to keep me invested. I know it's possible for me to enjoy MG romances (just look at the Willow Falls books by Wendy Mass, or The Wednesday Wars by Gary D. Schmidt - links go to my reviews), but there was nothing doing this time.

I just don't know. I don't know who I would give this to, or why, or when. It's got some great themes and messages, don't get me wrong, but there are so many other books out there that cover all of this same material in a more tasteful way (or at least in a way that's more to my taste). If it looks good to you, go for it - maybe it's more your cup of tea than it is mine. But I won't be recommending The Looney Project in the future, and I'm donating my copy to the local book swap.

Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book through the BookLook Bloggers program in exchange for an honest review.